Damaged Love Read online

“Thank you. I hope that I can bring something new to the table.” Henry, the previous owner, raves about my knowledge of computers and technology in general, but again, my dad now owns his company, and he’s not about to say anything negative in regards to me.

  We finish our dinner and Rachel asks me if I want to watch a movie. I desperately want to stay, but I need to get home, and I need to do that before my desire from watching her in this tight outfit takes over and has me acting less like the gentleman she thinks I am.

  “I better pass. I need to get home,” I say as I watch the disappointment cross her face. Before Rachel can say anything else, there’s a knock on her door. I can’t help but wonder what company she’d have this late on a Monday night.

  Rachel walks over and opens her door without even looking to see who’s standing on the other side.

  “Geez, she’s bad tonight. I mean really bad.” A dark headed man walks into Rachel’s apartment in a relaxed way. A way that screams he’s comfortable here, which instantly has me on edge.

  “She was screaming then...” He trails off when his eyes spot me standing off to the side.

  “Russ, this is Jet. Jet, this is my brother, Russ,” Rachel says. My nerves disappear the second I hear the word brother. This is the only person Rachel talks about with real pride. Clearly, he’s important to her.

  “Oh, sorry, sis. I didn’t know you had anyone over. You never have company,” Russ adds, which only continues to calm me. Rachel acts like giving out her address and number is a huge deal compared to casually meeting a date somewhere, and Russ’s remark only confirms that.

  “Jet and I went out Saturday night, and he came over here tonight for a quick dinner after work.” Rachel blushes. She seriously blushed from telling her brother about me.

  “Nice to meet you.” Russ extends his hand, offering to shake mine.

  “Likewise.”

  Rachel sighs next to me. “Mom’s at it again?”

  Russ looks at Rachel with an uneasy expression before nodding his head yes. “I’m not sure what has her bent out of shape tonight, but I had to force her to take a pill.” Russ’s comment was spoken so softly I barely heard him.

  Rachel exhales a long breath and sits down next to Russ on her sofa. She takes her hand and starts rubbing his back. “That’s why she has the pills. Don’t feel bad for giving her one.” The comfortable tone Rachel uses has me feeling like an outsider sneaking a peek at something I shouldn’t.

  “I hate to interrupt, but I think I should get going,” I state without adding, I think you need some time alone with your brother.

  “Oh, okay. I’ll walk you out.” Rachel hops to her feet and walks toward me. She grabs my hand and walks me out her door, closing it behind her.

  “Thank you for tonight.” She pauses to chew on her lower lip. The desire to kiss her starts to dominate my thoughts but her brother is on the other side of this door. Without giving me the chance to react, Rachel leans up and wraps her arms around my neck then places her lips on mine. Her touch is soft and warm, and instantly my body starts to react.

  She opens her mouth, and I take the invitation she’s offering by sliding my tongue inside. Our movements are effortless, and I’m positive Rachel can feel the effect she has on me. I force myself to pull away and put a small amount of distance between us.

  Her eyes are closed, and she has the sweetest smile on her face, but when she opens her eyes, I see the longing she has for me.

  “I’m not sure if I can come over tomorrow, but I’ll be at our coffee shop between two and three if you have time. Either way, you’ll hear from me soon.” A storm of need is brewing inside of me, but I force myself to leave before I do something neither of us are ready for.

  * * * *

  Rachel wasn’t able to meet for coffee the next day or any other day this week. She claims her boss still has his stick up his ass and any free time she had she used to get caught up in her summer courses.

  Kenner Technology is trying to ensure they stay on track for its launch that hopefully will happen in the next couple of months, which has me staying well past ten o’clock the last few nights.

  Tonight, everyone is leaving early and getting a jumpstart on the weekend, which means I finally have time to see Rachel.

  I’ve never felt like this before, but I have a serious case of need. I need to see Rachel, and my mind has been going crazy the last week, wondering what she’s doing, where she’s at, and most importantly...am I having the same effect on her?

  The few times I’ve spoken to her, she sounded carefree and relaxed and not at all frantic like I’ve felt without her. Frantic. Is it possible to feel that way about someone I hardly know?

  I’m only nineteen, and I’ve already slept with three women. Compared to my friends, I’m a goddamn saint, but I’m still young and I sure as hell enjoy sex, but trust is a huge thing for me, and I’ve trusted all three of the girls I’ve been with.

  The girl I lost my virginity to, almost two years ago, moved shortly after we crossed that line. The other two are females I’ve known for years. Girls I know for a fact aren’t looking to trap me with a kid, but I don’t feel anything but lust toward them. I’ll occasionally call them up when the mood hits me, and it’s rare that either of them turns me down. However, since I met Rachel, I haven’t once thought about either of them.

  Months have passed since I last had sex, but I know when I finally appease my body, it will be with Rachel and nobody else. This is where the frantic feeling comes from. With my other three partners, I haven’t had romantic feelings for any of them. The arrangement I have with them is more of a ‘friends with benefits,’ sometimes even lacking the true friendship part.

  As strange as it may be, I’m slightly nervous to add emotions to the physical act. I want Rachel, and more importantly, I want to be everything she wants, and right now, that seems like a lot of pressure.

  I push my thoughts to the back of my mind and walk up to her apartment. Tonight, I’m taking her back to my dad’s house on the beach.

  I have no idea if my dad will be home. He’s still acting beyond strange, at least for him. I’m hoping that if he’s home, he’s out of whatever funk he’s been in.

  I knock on Rachel’s door, and seconds later, she opens it. My tongue feels heavy as I take her in. Tight dark jeans, a loose white shirt that falls off one shoulder, and tonight she has her long dark hair pulled up in a messy bun with strands falling down the sides.

  “Do you want to come in or are you ready to go?” I smile, and instead of answering her, I attack her mouth. Our tongues meet and start moving together in a perfect flow as I move her body up against the wall, but all too soon I pull back. I let out a painful groan when I see how affected Rachel is from just one kiss.

  “Why do you keep doing that?” Rachel huffs with a smirk on her gorgeous face.

  “Doing what?”

  “Turning me on then backing away.” She straightens her back and gives me a serious look.

  “Sorry, with you...I want to do this right. Don’t for a second think I don’t want you just as much as you want me.” Her face relaxes before she bounces over and grabs a bag and her purse. “What’s in the bag?”

  “My camera. You said we’re going to the beach, right?”

  Camera? “Yes?” I say more as a question than a statement.

  “Then I want my camera. I love taking pictures. Capturing memories as they’re being made.” Rachel looks lost in her own thoughts before turning back to me.

  “I had no idea that you enjoyed taking pictures.” This is proof of how little I actually know her because I had no clue that she even owned a camera.

  “If I could pick my dream job, I would be a photographer. When I was seven, my mother bought this really expensive camera. She came home, gave it to me, and insisted I take pictures of her. Anytime I went to put it down, she would scold me then remind me I had a job to do. This went on for weeks. I hated that damn camera by then. When my mom passed out one after
noon, I hid it in the back of my closet and convinced her that she lost it.” Rachel stares at the wall for a moment, lost in her past.

  “I stumbled across that stupid camera a few years later and decided to develop the film and somehow...I fell in love. I thought my mom was in a crazy mode at the time, but after a few more years, I could see how much better she was compared to what we were dealing with at that time. That’s when my love of capturing memories started.” She shrugs before reaching out for my hand.

  “Some people stick like glue and others are just passing through, but a picture delivers the memories that sometimes make us blue.” Rachel’s voice takes on a somber tone. I want to ask more about her mother, but after the dip in her mood, I’m not positive it’s a good idea.

  “If you ever want to talk about your mother, I’ll listen. I...” I stop and take in a deep breath before continuing. “I don’t have your stories or your experience, but my mother had issues herself. She actually killed herself when I was two. I don’t know why but I always thought she died in a car accident. It wasn’t until I said something to my dad a few years ago that he corrected me and told me the truth.” Rachel’s expression drops even more.

  “My mom used to be a famous model. That’s why she wanted me to take pictures of her. I think she was reliving something in her mind. That seems to be the story of my life. Sometime after the camera episode, I started really noticing how different my mom was compared to everyone else’s. The hardest part of it all is...my mom has the kindest heart of anyone you’ll ever meet. Something between her heart and her brain doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to.”

  My dad didn’t go into a lot of detail when he told me about my mom, but he told me enough that I’m positive this would have been my life if my mother had lived. Somehow knowing this, I feel a stronger connection to Rachel than I did only moments before.

  “Okay, no more talk about my family. I’m ready to go if you are,” she adds with a cheerful smile that isn’t fooling me for a second. I reach over, take her camera bag off her shoulder, lace my hand with hers, and the two of us head to my house.

  JET

  “YOUR HOUSE IS AMAZING,” RACHEL says as she takes everything in. My dad has a lot of money. He doesn’t flaunt it in front of people, but he doesn’t hide it, either. Our home is large by anyone’s standards, not to mention we have beachfront property in Malibu.

  “Go take a look around. I’m going to put these files in my office.” I love saying that. My office. There are two of us living in a seven-bedroom house. Therefore, I decided to make one of the extra rooms an office.

  I leave Rachel to explore while I make my way to my desk. I pull out my laptop and a few files I need to look over before adding them to my hard drive. I spot something move out of the corner of my eye only to find Rachel standing in the doorway with her camera around her neck.

  “Wow, you weren’t kidding. You have your own office.” She chews on her lip as her eyes dart around the room.

  “We had the extra space, that’s all. I don’t do enough yet at Kenner to need my own office. Truthfully, I do more homework in here than anything else.” Rachel continues to scan the walls, taking in the pictures and awards I’ve hung. Unlike a lot of guys, I didn’t play many sports, but I was on our high school swim team. I received a few scholarship offers, but I’ve never had plans of competing beyond a high school level.

  She pauses at the picture of my junior prom. Honestly, I have no idea why I hung that picture. Keri, my date, was the girl I lost my virginity to, and she moved shortly after that picture was taken. Back then, Keri was the best of both worlds. She was a friend, and we also had sex, but she never expected more. She never acted fake around me, and at the time, that was exactly the type of person I needed in my life.

  “Girlfriend?” Rachel asks, still looking at the picture.

  “Date. Keri and I went to prom together as friends.” Everything we did after prom would be considered more than friendly by most people’s standards, but I think it’s best to keep that part to myself.

  “Oh yeah? I went to prom with a friend, but prom is still...prom.” The way Rachel said friend clearly implies she had a similar experience and just the thought of her with someone else has my heart racing.

  I walk over and place my hands on her face. I tilt her head back, forcing her eyes to mine. “Did you enjoy your prom?” I ask in a firmer tone than I intended.

  “Not really. It was fairly lackluster.” She grins, which in turns causes me to relax.

  “Good. Maybe one day very soon I’ll give you something inspiring to remember.” I force myself to step away from her and return to my desk.

  “Promises promises,” Rachel says with a laugh that quickly fades when we spot my dad standing in the doorway.

  “Hey, I wasn’t sure if you were home. I didn’t see your car.”

  Instead of looking toward me, my dad keeps his stare fixed on Rachel. “I wasn’t. I just got home.” Rachel glances back and forth between us as an uncomfortable silence blankets the room.

  I clear my throat. “Dad, this is Rachel Ashmore. Rachel, this is my dad, Nick McKenzie.”

  “Nice to meet you.” Rachel’s voice is soft and friendly, but my dad, for whatever reason, isn’t looking overly friendly.

  “Nice to meet you,” Dad finally replies, but his eyes are narrowed, and his hands are balled into fists.

  “I’ll just wait for you out on the deck.” Rachel steps around my dad and out of my office, leaving the two of us alone.

  “What’s your problem?” I do nothing to hide my growing frustration.

  “This is your office, Jet. You’re working with Kenner Technology now. You tend to bring home very important files that you should guard with your life. Instead, I find you in here with some girl you just met? What the hell were you thinking?”

  In nineteen years, my dad has never once spoken to me this way. “Chill out. Rachel didn’t even go near my desk or the file I brought home.”

  Dad continues to watch me until he finally cracks and loses his bleak demeanor. “Sorry. I’ve had a rough few weeks. You’re probably right, but when you’re dealing with state of the art technology, especially patents that haven’t been released yet, you can never be too careful. Please remember that when you allow anyone into your personal space.”

  I relax once I know his mood stems from trying to protect me and not from anything that has to do with Rachel personally.

  I wasn’t worried about Rachel being around my work, but he’s right. Until this launch happens, I need to protect Kenner and the work Henry trusted me to take out of the office.

  “The girl is very...pretty,” my dad adds as a way to break the ice. “She is. I like her. A lot. Rachel works in the West Star building, and it seems like we keep running into each other.”

  Once the words leave my mouth, his hard look returns. “Be good and whatever you do, Jet, be smart.”

  I nod my head, processing his comment slowly. If Kenner fails, my dad will be out a lot of money. As it is, I’m the only reason he even invested in the company. Maybe I should temporarily cool things off with Rachel. The launch is only a few months away, and I won’t have a lot of time to spend with her in the first place. If we’re meant to be then a small break won’t hurt anything. With my newfound decision in place, I leave my office to go in search of Rachel.

  I walk through the house and come up empty until I spot her on the deck. Her camera is in front of her face, and I can tell she’s smiling at whatever she’s looking at.

  Slowly, she lowers the camera as a breeze kicks up. She continues to smile as she stares out at the sunset, something I haven’t stopped to watch in years, but the peaceful, almost magical moment I feel right now makes taking a break from this woman seem practically impossible.

  A lump starts to form in my throat. If I ask Rachel for a break, I have no guarantee she’ll be waiting for me when I decide I have the time to properly pursue a relationship, and that thought alone scares
the hell out of me. I’ve yet to discover why everything with Rachel is different, but both my gut and my heart are telling me to stop questioning life and enjoy what’s right in front of me.

  —

  “I should have driven. That way you wouldn’t have to take me all the way home,” Rachel says for the tenth time since we left my house.

  “And I told you it’s fine.” Her old Civic looks more like the kind of car you drive around town. The idea of her getting on the highway in that thing scares the shit out of me, but of course, I keep that last thought to myself.

  After we arrive at her apartment, I walk her safely inside. I want to kiss her again so damn bad, but I’m afraid that kissing will lead to a whole lot more, and I’m not sure we’re ready to cross that bridge. My dark eyes meet her blue ones, and just like that, my whole body ignites. Several long beats later, Rachel walks up to me and pulls my neck until my lips meet hers.

  Our kiss is soft and slow at first but hot and fierce within moments. Rachel drops her arms then pulls her shirt up and over her head. She reaches around and unclasps her bra, allowing it to fall to the floor. Next, she slowly unbuttons her shorts and pushes them down her legs until she tosses them in the same pile as the rest of her clothing.

  Standing in front of me in only a pair of sheer black panties, my eyes rake over her body, taking in every feature, from her long skinny legs to her rather large and definitely perky tits. Rachel is without a doubt mouthwatering. My eyes continue to travel upward until we lock eyes. She nervously chews on her lip, waiting for me to say or do something.

  I should leave. I should go home and resolve myself to taking things slower, but I can’t form the words because the God’s honest truth is...I want Rachel Ashmore. I want every erotic promise her body is offering, and for the first time in my life, I’m ready to take what I desperately want. I reach around, pull my shirt off, and toss it with Rachel’s clothing on the floor then I shed myself of my jeans until I’m standing in only my boxer briefs.

  Rachel’s mouth twitches while she watches me undress in front of her.